Onisofe's Diary

Friday, September 27, 2019

BRT Bus Drama

I normally say 'Lagos is not for the faint-hearted' and that's because the hustle and bustle of Lagos can be overwhelming at times, did I say at times?? Ejor, it's 'most times'. It takes 101% patience to live and survive in this City.

The other day, Ope and I were on our way to work, we got into a bus heading to Yaba from Iyana-Ipaja and began our gists and stories. About 20 minutes into the journey (haha, it's actually a journey because of traffic) the bus just stopped abruptly, This was the third time in the week that the buses we took to work kept getting faulty in the middle of the journey, so I thought it was one of those normal drills; check the engine, screw and unscrew one or two things and put water into that small jerry can like thing in the bonnet and we can continue our journey.

We got down from the bus and the driver pretended to check the engine and then told us plainly that we need to get another bus to continue our journey if we don't want to be late for work.

Alaye just laidat!!!! 😢

We were running late and the traffic wasn't it at all and the driver refused to give us our full fare. Oga stopped a BRT bus for us and asked us all to get in while he negotiated the price with the BRT Conductor. On getting in, we found out all the seats were taken and we had to stand from Ikeja to Yaba. LOL. I told Ope that I couldn't stand o, how can I stand in a moving bus? She laughed and reminded me that This is Lagos.

I've always thought to myself that standing in a moving vehicle is weird. I see people packed up like sardines in a moving BRT and I say a silent prayer that nothing will get me to that point where I will have no other option than to stand but here I am today, Standing tall and elegant, LOL.

Nobody got down from the BRT till we were halfway to Yaba. After targeting the person that intended to drop, I rushed to be the first to get his seat, I was the Usain Bolt of BRT, I even had to lap Ope as we proceeded (what we do for friendship)😉

I still remember the pains I felt after we got down from the BRT. I felt like giving out my thighs for a some pieces of Bole. I didn't want it again because Ope sucked out all the life from my laps plus all the long minutes of standing. My standing experience on the BRT wasn't sweet at all but my fear is that it will still happen again, I haven't prayed to be more wrong in all my life.

Do you have a not-so-good BRT or Bus experience you'd like to share? Tell me in the comment section.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Lagos Masquerade Drama

Onisofe's Diary 4:57 AM 4

The other day after work, Ope and I were walking down the road to board a tricycle heading towards the bus stop as Niyi was waiting for us so we could all go home together. Lost in gossips of all that went down at the office; I raised my head for a sec and I saw some scary looking masked people walking down to meet us.

I told Ope that I was going to scream and run because these masquerades had whips with them and they were walking directly towards us. She replied, "babes, don't scream, don't run, just act normal". How on earth can I act normal? I almost yelled out. This is the first time I am seeing a masquerade (or something close to a masquerade) in my 26 years of existence.

I was counting my breath and panting like someone who just finished a race. Suddenly, one of the masquerades came to meet me. Yes, he came to meet me with a whip and spoke something in Yoruba, I was shivering and couldn't say a word. Then Ope opened her bag and was looking for cash. She asked if I had money to spare but fear didn't allow me to respond.

She later found fifty naira and handed it over to the masquerade after which he left. It took me about 30 secs to catch my breath and recover from the horrifying scene that just played out in my front.

How can masquerades be seen parading the streets in broad daylight in a civilized city like Lagos? Wetyn person no go see for this Lagos? Abeg tell me sef 😂🤣.

Have you ever seen a masquerade? Please share your experience with me in the comment section. Stay refreshed. Don't forget to drink water and mind your business 😉😉

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Hanty wey your hair?

Onisofe's Diary 4:16 AM 0

A part of me always struggles to get off from bed on Monday mornings while another part wants to disappear and be in the office. From long meetings to strategy sessions, to brainstorming sessions and long screen times, the day ends with me exhausted and drained.

Walking to the junction that evening, I couldn't wait to get my wig off because I needed my sanity back as I hate anything that makes me uncomfortable and at this time, this wig was one of them.
‘Keke, Jibowu’ I said as soon as I saw an empty tricycle heading my direction.
‘50 naira. Hanty hold your change o’, the Keke man replied. I dragged my tired self into the tricycle.

Too tired and drained, I paid my fare, settled in the Keke properly and then took my wig off. The ride to Jibowu was quite long as traffic was already building up around Yaba Tech. I relaxed with some nice tracks from The Weekend.

As I got to my bus stop, I alighted from the Keke only for the driver to demand his fare again (remember I had paid immediately I entered at the pickup point). He said he doesn't remember picking me up and the only lady he picked had hair extensions.🤣😂

Me: Baba, I'm the lady you picked at Sabo. I only removed my wig bayi.
Keke man: Ha, you removed kini? All these women eh
Me: Eh, I removed the hair wey I wear on top my head ni.
Keke man: See as you change. Ha, Women! For this Lagos laidis, the girls' wey go enter Heaven no reach 100.

Getting home that evening, I couldn't stop laughing and trust me, I had already called Ope to give her the whole gist. The beautiful part of the evening incident was that the memory kept me smiling all through that week and ease of the stress that accompanied that day.

Sunday, September 1, 2019

AN INCOMPLETE PAYMENT

Onisofe's Diary 4:18 AM 8

After the close of work on the last working day of the week, I dropped by at a friend's place before going home which made me extra late (a story for another day). Our bus is in motion and five minutes later.

“Oya, your money line by line”
Everyone passes their money to the driver like we are used to in this Lagos.
The fare is 100 Naira, we give the driver 500 for four passengers at the back and ask him to send back 100 naira which should be my balance because I had 200 naira.

Driver: Who never pay me o, e remain one person.
Passenger: Everybody don pay you, bring 100 naira change abeg.
Driver: The money wey dey my hand na the complete transport and if you wan collect change person never pay.
Me: Driver my change o
Passenger: who never pay na. Me I give driver 500 for 4. Na me dey pass the money so I collect for everyone.
Passengers arguing back and forth and local girl is relaxed watching the drama.
Driver: Why person go wan cheat baba like me? If you no get the money you for tell me or beg me make I help you.
Passengers concur immediately. Local girl is the only person being owed and the driver isn’t listening.
Driver: my money must complete o. The person wey wan collect change, you sure say you pay?

Local girl is quiet until she gets to her bus stop.
Local girl: Driver my change
The driver was quiet for a long time, and then starts cursing but hands me my change and I walk away.
Ps: If you stole Baba's money, the curse must have worked.

Credit: Lara.